Awhile ago I bought a nice little gadget to clean the sensor of my camera. It’s called Arctic Butterfly from Visible Dust and it’s this little brush with a battery that somehow does something with static electricity (see www.visibledust.com).

It’s not really such a big thing, but (don’t ask me what I was thinking!) I decided not to take it along on holiday. I had my Giotto Air Bellower, which I figured should be enough.

Of course… After the first couple of days of changing lenses, the sensor had gathered a good amount of dust. I thought to clean it with the Air Bellower and when I went about bellowing air on the sensor, indeed a lot of the dust disappeared. But there was also a massive chunk that flew in and refused to come off. I tried everything, even went as dangerously far as taking the brush I usually use to clean the lens glass with and brush over the sensor (DON’T try that at home, folks!!!), but it wouldn’t come off.

That was in the first days…
It’s funny how fast and how easy one accepts one’s fate.
I soon realized that there was little I could do. The dust was stuck. Stuck badly. And we were in the sticks, in the middle of nowhere, so I couldn’t bring it somewhere to have it cleaned.
So I just grunted, moaned and complained to my better half with almost every single picture I took, that it would take me 2 years to clean up all the pictures from all the dust speckles and such and such…

And that’s what I’m probably going to do in the coming two years (if you don’t see the spots, look at the bigger pic. And go see the optician…)

D200, ISO100, 1/180 sec @ f/11, Tamron 28-75mm, box full of crap on the sensor

D200, ISO100, 1/180 sec @ f/11, Tamron 28-75mm, box full of crap on the sensor

D200, ISO100, 1/6 sec @ f/32, Tamron 28-75mm, a closet full of crap on the sensor

D200, ISO100, 1/6 sec @ f/32, Tamron 28-75mm, a closet full of crap on the sensor

… based on real life facts…

[exterior: the outside of the ladies bathroom on a near-deserted camping in the middle of nowhere]
The camera slowly zooms in. First the whole building, slowly up towards the sign hanging above the entrance. It reads “WC – Senoras”.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

The camera pans down and zooms in further, now into the building.

[interior: toilet building with red matte tiles on the floor and impersonal, cold and bright fluorescent lights]
The camera pans to the right and shows four white ceramic sinks in kitsch marble stone. The taps look old and used. When the camera pans to the left we see four rooms on the far side of the wall and four opposite. The camera zooms in on the third room, the second last room in the building. It’s a toilet. The camera changes angle and pans down and zooms in further. First we see red tiles. Then we see a pair of flip-flops with feet, partly covered by pants.
The camera moves past the pants and shows a dark scene.

[interior: close up of the pants, the toilet seat is out of focus, but visible in the background]
We see two black hairy legs appear on the pants. Nothing more than the big black hairy legs. Apparently from a large insect.
Ominous music starts playing (think Jaws, dum dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum).
The camera pans away for a second, only to quickly return so we can see two big black hairy legs (the hind legs this time) disappear in the pants.

[exterior: forest, dark and quiet...]
… only the muffled sound of footsteps on a thick bed of pine needles. The happy camper is returning to her tent after a little toilet break in the middle of the night.
Some stumbling and then the harsh sounds of a zipper breaks through the forest. The happy camper has closed the tent and has gone back to sleep.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

[interior: inside the tent]
Our happy camper has taken off her shorts and has crawled back in her sleeping bag. Next to her, sound asleep, her happy camper partner. He’s sleeping on the floor, uncovered. The bed of pine needles under the tent is soft enough, and he found it too warm to use a sleeping bag.
The camera zooms in on the shorts lying next to the sleeping back.
Ominous music, briefly, but ominously, starts playing again. Dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum.
We only just see two big black hairy legs crawl away from the shorts.

[interior: inside the tent]
The camera shows the happy camper partner sound asleep. He’s wearing only his boxers, because it’s so warm. He doesn’t seem to be dreaming, if he is, it’s not showing.
He turns around and grunts a bit. It’s not really a snore, but there’s something uncomfortable about it.
He kicks a bit with his leg, as if he has an itch.
It seems to be helping, because a faint smile appears on his face and he turns back around.
The camera zooms in on his face.
In his sleep he’s frowning. Maybe he is having a dream after all. He kicks with his leg again. More violently now. This time it isn’t enough.
The camera zooms out, pans towards the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg and zooms in again. We see two big black hairy legs appear on top of the legs of our (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s legs.
Very ominous music starts playing. Dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum.
The (maybe no longer so) happy camper wakes up with a start.
The camera zooms out quickly and shows the (maybe no longer so) happy camper grab the flash light. The flash light clicks on and suddenly the tent is bathing in light.
The camera pans and zooms in on the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg.
On the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg clumsily crawls a cute black beetle, trying desperately to find its balance and getting a hold, because the hairy legs of the (probably now again) happy camper don’t really give it much foot hold.

The other happy camper in the mean time has woken up in the consternation and sees her happy camper partner put the black beetle outside the tent.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

[exterior: outside the tent]
The camera zooms out, showing the tent.
It zooms out further, showing more of the camping site. Then it pans, follows the path and shows the camping site’s entrance.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

THE END

We flew with Spanair to and from the Canaries.

Cheap flights, but good service, be it you have to pay for pretty much everything and nothing’s included except for some really colorful candies that taste of artificial sweeteners.

But anyway…
They have a menu from which you can order stuff and on our way back, since I had read all five books and two magazines, a news paper and all the other readable stuff I could find, I turned to that piece of literary magnitude to ease my boredom.
When you have time, you start to really read things, and don’t just let your brain connect all the missing links.
So with all that time on my hands, I scrolled down the options (I was actually getting hungry too, so that might’ve helped), and came to the bottom of the menu where sandwiches were offered.
In the three weeks on the Canary Islands, where surprisingly little people speak English, my Spanish took a good boost. But having both English and Spanish at my disposal I didn’t feel like wrecking my brain and try to figure out the Spanish. I went straight for the English.

You can imagine my surprise when I read through this:

Spanair's menu on-board

Spanair's menu on-board

I nearly soiled myself, and I had to go to the toilet, seriously, after that. Maybe it was so terribly funny, because I was so tired and so bored, but really…
These kind of mistakes have NO place in a menu anywhere.

(I still fall in a laughing fit when I see this, and I’m not even tired anymore :D )

We’re back from our holidays in the Canary Islands. It was awesome, in many ways.
The coming month (probably ;) ) you’ll be reading all about it.

We’re starting here (for the small text you’ll have to check the big size of the image):

The Babelfish screw-up

The Babelfish screw-up

(the copyright of this -horrid, I’m sorry- design lies with the one who made it, and it wasn’t me)
So as a design/marketing guy I always assumed that when you promote your company or activities, you make sure that everything is perfect. If you need multiple languages, you have the original text professionally translated, or at least have it double-checked by someone who knows a few words in both or all languages you have the text translated into.
Clearly this wasn’t the case when they made this little flyer and it made me laugh out loud when I read it.

This is a buggy:

Image courtesy http://www.imcaonline.es

Image courtesy http://www.imcaonline.es

And buggy in Spanish is buggy in English (that’s easy!). But if you do your homework right, buggy in English is not only this sporty extreme little vehicle, but it’s also these sporty little vehicles below (pram, stroller, coming in a variety of versions, with 3 wheels, 4 wheels, sun hood, etc. etc.):

Image courtesy of http://www.babyuniverse.com.au

Image courtesy of http://www.babyuniverse.com.au

So when you translate buggy from Spanish to English to German, it might just turn out as “Kinderwagen”, which means pram, stroller.
And here this company is sporting a colorful flyer promoting with a big German header “Excursions guided in prams”. Not only are there some really weird translations in the headers, but if you check the small text, they claim to have “Routes long and half”. The excursion includes “assurance” (assurance for what, really? Is it THAT unsafe?) and there’s something weird with 7-year-old major children.

And the above example was only one of many, many translation comedies I found.
Saving money is good, but save it from the correct places, I say.

I don’t typically fancy an assured excursion guided in prams with 7-year-old major children…

Well… I guess the images speak for themselves, so…
Sit back, relax and enjoy ;)

Sorry, but you're not my type...

Sorry, but you're not my type

Hmm, handsome... why don't you come a bit closer?

Hmm, handsome... why don't you come a bit closer?

I think that's more my type

I think that's more my type

*giggles* Let's play hard to get for a bit

*giggles* Let's play hard to get for a bit

Ok, that's enough. I'm man of few words...

Ok, that's enough. I'm a man of few words...

Ow yeah... ow YEAH!!! Give it to me baby, ahah, ahah!

Ow yeah... ow YEAH!!! Give it to me baby, ahah, ahah!

June, July and August are probably going to be the most quiet times on this blog.
Not really sorry, but I’m going to apologize for enjoying the summer and totally neglecting writing anyway.
Especially being in Finland, where “summer” is defined somewhat different than elsewhere in the world.
Especially when we’re going on our 6th consecutive day of sun and 20+ degrees Celcius. That’s quite an achievement.

Suffice to say I’m out…
Enjoy the summer, as I will, and I’ll be writing whenever it might be raining ;)

D200, ISO100, 1/125 sec @ f/8, Sigma 10-20mm

D200, ISO100, 1/125 sec @ f/8, Sigma 10-20mm

Not my own post, but something rather hilarious everyone should read:

http://www.shapelessmass.com/index.html/?p=578#comment-104

One of the pictures apparently has been doing the round already for quite awhile, but I bumped into this blog post only now.
And after reading and after I had recovered from my initial surprise I giggled myself silly.

It’s about an artist who had put up some pictures on his website. Another guy had made a website for his business and bluntly hotlinked -not even copied- the images to his own website and also used it in other things.
Then after awhile the artist took down the website or the images from the website and prompt got a mail from the other guy who threatened to sue the artist with legal actions if he didn’t put back the pictures, because he had used them in all his business material and had no longer access to them and this would damage his business.

I know… hard to believe, but geesh, did it crack me up :D

The other day I came across a rum ad by Donq. I don’t drink alcohol myself, so I have no clue what kind of rum it is, how it tastes or what Donq is, but I do know that they should have a little chit-chat with their ad agency.

Donq

Donq

Of course… The bottles were put on the beach. They’re not really there, and they’re not really that big either. But that was a fairly ok job, except for the very Web2.0 reflections of the two bottles in the water, that seem to not be interfered by the waves rolling in on the beach.
Funny thing is… this Donq must make really special glass, because there’s no diffraction of the island’s trees or beach line you can see through the transparent bottle in the middle. Nor in the round cap of the bottle on the right.
And I guess that green bottle is coated somehow, so you can’t see anything through there. But those two bottles on the left are normal glass. And even if I don’t know anything about rum, I do know that -although it being a pissy yellow- it’s still transparent and should’ve shown island and sea as well.

Owwell… Maybe the graphic had a bit too much before he worked this ad :D

Two of my good friends asked me to take some pictures of them during their pregnancy.
We got together about a week before they were officially due and had a great morning together.
Lovely mom-to-be was just radiating happiness :)
And of course lovely daddy-to-be did just the same :)
And I’m The Godfather [insert tacky one-liner here :D ). WOOOHOOO!!   :)

D200, ISO100, 1/125 sec @ f/8, Tamron 90mm

D200, ISO100, 1/125 sec @ f/8, Tamron 90mm

D200, ISO100, 1/250 sec @ f/2.8, Tamron 28-75mm

D200, ISO100, 1/250 sec @ f/2.8, Tamron 28-75mm

D200, ISO100, 1/60 sec @ f/2, Nikkor 50mm

D200, ISO100, 1/60 sec @ f/2, Nikkor 50mm

This is something that’s been bugging me already for a looooong time.
You hear it all the time, in every bar, with every party. And it’s all screwed up.
Wikipedia writes this:

Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat.

I’m not quite sure where they got that, or where this whole impression comes from, but it’s seriously lopsided.
It would make a lot more sense if they would call it “Going Finnish”.
One of the first times I came to visit my better half – when we were still living in separate countries – we went out to a bar with her friends. I stepped up to get a drink and asked everyone what they wanted to drink, wallet at the ready. All of them, not one single exception save for my better half, looked at me like I had too much space cake.
“Hmm, well… ummm… we’ll come along to the counter and see” was the reply, as everyone stood up and took out their own wallet.

Is it because I’m from the east of Holland? Do they do things different there?
I don’t think so. My friends back in Holland live all over the country and every time it’s the same. I buy a round and the rest of the night it’s everyone else’s turn.

What do you mean “Going Dutch”?
It’s screwed up. Dutch people are one of the most generous people on the face of the earth!

ARGHH!
Someone needs to rewrite the dictionaries!