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All posts for the day September 11th, 2009

… based on real life facts…

[exterior: the outside of the ladies bathroom on a near-deserted camping in the middle of nowhere]
The camera slowly zooms in. First the whole building, slowly up towards the sign hanging above the entrance. It reads “WC – Senoras”.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

The camera pans down and zooms in further, now into the building.

[interior: toilet building with red matte tiles on the floor and impersonal, cold and bright fluorescent lights]
The camera pans to the right and shows four white ceramic sinks in kitsch marble stone. The taps look old and used. When the camera pans to the left we see four rooms on the far side of the wall and four opposite. The camera zooms in on the third room, the second last room in the building. It’s a toilet. The camera changes angle and pans down and zooms in further. First we see red tiles. Then we see a pair of flip-flops with feet, partly covered by pants.
The camera moves past the pants and shows a dark scene.

[interior: close up of the pants, the toilet seat is out of focus, but visible in the background]
We see two black hairy legs appear on the pants. Nothing more than the big black hairy legs. Apparently from a large insect.
Ominous music starts playing (think Jaws, dum dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum).
The camera pans away for a second, only to quickly return so we can see two big black hairy legs (the hind legs this time) disappear in the pants.

[exterior: forest, dark and quiet…]
… only the muffled sound of footsteps on a thick bed of pine needles. The happy camper is returning to her tent after a little toilet break in the middle of the night.
Some stumbling and then the harsh sounds of a zipper breaks through the forest. The happy camper has closed the tent and has gone back to sleep.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

[interior: inside the tent]
Our happy camper has taken off her shorts and has crawled back in her sleeping bag. Next to her, sound asleep, her happy camper partner. He’s sleeping on the floor, uncovered. The bed of pine needles under the tent is soft enough, and he found it too warm to use a sleeping bag.
The camera zooms in on the shorts lying next to the sleeping back.
Ominous music, briefly, but ominously, starts playing again. Dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum.
We only just see two big black hairy legs crawl away from the shorts.

[interior: inside the tent]
The camera shows the happy camper partner sound asleep. He’s wearing only his boxers, because it’s so warm. He doesn’t seem to be dreaming, if he is, it’s not showing.
He turns around and grunts a bit. It’s not really a snore, but there’s something uncomfortable about it.
He kicks a bit with his leg, as if he has an itch.
It seems to be helping, because a faint smile appears on his face and he turns back around.
The camera zooms in on his face.
In his sleep he’s frowning. Maybe he is having a dream after all. He kicks with his leg again. More violently now. This time it isn’t enough.
The camera zooms out, pans towards the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg and zooms in again. We see two big black hairy legs appear on top of the legs of our (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s legs.
Very ominous music starts playing. Dum dum dum dumdumdumdumdum.
The (maybe no longer so) happy camper wakes up with a start.
The camera zooms out quickly and shows the (maybe no longer so) happy camper grab the flash light. The flash light clicks on and suddenly the tent is bathing in light.
The camera pans and zooms in on the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg.
On the (maybe no longer so) happy camper’s leg clumsily crawls a cute black beetle, trying desperately to find its balance and getting a hold, because the hairy legs of the (probably now again) happy camper don’t really give it much foot hold.

The other happy camper in the mean time has woken up in the consternation and sees her happy camper partner put the black beetle outside the tent.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

[exterior: outside the tent]
The camera zooms out, showing the tent.
It zooms out further, showing more of the camping site. Then it pans, follows the path and shows the camping site’s entrance.

Bad C-movie, movie still

Bad C-movie, movie still

THE END